One of the most heartbreaking scenarios upon entering college is the fact that you get to be away from your family and loved ones. Though it is really an effective way in order to be indulged with independency, conquering all the obstacles alone is really a hard thing to do. As I step my feet on the grounds of my new school, I cannot help but to feel nostalgic towards the past memories. I just conditioned myself and envisioned this new journey of mine with optimism. I really admit that I am not a socially active person. I tend to get awkward every time I encounter with people. But as I gazed on the left corner of the room, I saw him, quietly gazing at his pen and paper.
Normally, when you first see a person even before meeting him, there is this urge on concluding if what kind of personality he acquires, and I guess I did that. Timid was my first impression on him. But on that day, we had this impromptu report about the different cultures and traditions that this our country convey. Surprisingly, his group members chose him as the speaker. I glanced at him, and as soon as he starts to open his mouth, I was mesmerized. He is totally full of life. He can easily persuade you about the things that he says. His humorous and bubbly energy amazed me.
He is not the person that I thought him to be. Months have passed and I still did not get any chance to interact with him, until that day. We are all patiently waiting for the next class to go out to our designated classroom when he suddenly showed up in front of me. I smiled at him and he did the same. Then I did not waste any chance and started to ask him questions that keep on lingering in my mind. He honestly answered them and I learned that just like me, he is also a socially awkward person. He told me that the crow makes him sick and he is not comfortable. I also found out that he is from Santiago Isabela and he shares a deep connection towards filming. I was about to ask again but then we were interrupted by my friends. Then that conversation never happened again. Though he answered some of my questions, I cannot fathom the feeling of longing because I am really curious.
By the end of first semester, our short but deep conversation did not happen again until that day. It seems like there is really a close connection between us that is why fate is doing its thing for us to interact with each other again. He is my classmate during the whole second semester. And this time, we are closer than ever. I found out that he is an environmentalist. He shares a deep appreciation on nature. He is also very subjective, he is very vocal towards others to the extent that he supports equality for all. He shares a civil relationship with his parents and he is not frail. For a 19 year old, he is an existentialist. He truly believe that people have their own free will that is why they are responsible for their own decisions and choices.
By the time that our conversations becomes deep, I gathered all the courage that I have and bravely asked him about his greatest obstacle that affected him up to this day. He heaved a sigh and answered, “Growing up, I do not know myself. It seems like you are obliged to follow what the people wants you to do. I was compared and forced that resulted me into being lost. I feel like being caged in a world created by my parents. It changed me, to the extent that I do not care about what they say anymore. I have already lost interest. I just started to follow my guts and do what I really want to do. I started to live my life on my own terms. I started to take a risk because you will never know what may happen. I believe that my parents just want to craft a “perfect” me, but as for me, perfection is so boring.”
He also confessed that there were many things that he did not have the chance to do because his loneliness is depriving him. “It seems like you are stuck in a cage where you are coerced to do what others want you to be. Back then, I did not have the courage to speak up but realizations hit me big time. If you feel like you are under their spell, you will always have the free will to choose and define yourself.” I was quite moved and I am amused by his courage to speak up. Not everyone has the audacity to do what he really did.
Since Isabela is indeed far from Baguio, I asked him if why he chose to study in a highland. He just smiled and answered in a concise manner, “I feel like I really need to train myself to be independent.” Today, this generation taught us to speak for ourselves and just do what makes us happy. After all, it is our obligation to feel the bliss in our lives. His story taught me that people are good at whining, but only a few are courageous enough to apply it in our lives. His magnificent technique on how he deals his life is surprisingly awesome.
And just like the definition of his name, Brian, which means, high or noble, he is able to achieve that status because of being vocal. His principle in life is simple and that is, “If you do something outrageous, as long as it does not affect me, I do not care.” He pays no mind to what the doubters say by simply doing his own thing. He fights for what he thinks is right and eventually does not stop until there is a result. His passion for filming is superb and as a matter of fact, he has done a lot of films along with comedy as its genre. People, most especially his friends latch to him because he is the comedian in their group. All of their problems instantly vanish when he starts to crack a joke. I certainly do not know all of the details in his life, but I am sure of one thing. He is an independent and a bubbly man who will do anything and everything just to reach his dreams.
I truly picture him as a great role model who really knows where he is going. Despite of the poker face that he uses as a mask in order to face the world every day, I can definitely feel that he is so much more. He is an epitome of a tough man who will do silly things just to make the people that are special to him happy. He is willing to act silly and take a risk just to achieve better results. I know that you are also thrilled to meet him, but knowing Brian Selwyn Villamar is worth it.
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